In October last year I miscarried very early. It was heartbreaking but not crushing. It was so early in the pregnancy that it hadn't really even set in yet. I was told that it was most likely due to chromosomes not lining up properly and that, while unfortunate, it wasn't at all uncommon. With Kai we got pregnant very quickly and other than her being stubbornly breech, and my platelets dropping to scary numbers, there were no real problems. So we went on with life. :)
Then in April I found out I was pregnant again!! We kept it to ourselves after what had happened last time, and I had some blood tests done to confirm everything was ok... only it wasn't 100% OK. :(
My levels, while rising, weren't rising as much as they wanted. So more blood tests (yes, I'm officially a human pin cushion) and an early ultrasound showed that I was a week earlier than we thought - not at all uncommon. A second ultrasound was scheduled to make sure everything was progressing as expected and, Wham! We saw a heart beat!! That was just before Easter, so with a fun Easter Egg Hunt (U/S Pic in the grown up's eggs) we told our immediate family. :)
|The big black blob is the sac, the small white-ish blob is the baby,|
and the dark dot in the center was the heartbeat.
This time was significantly harder to deal with since once we saw the heartbeat we thought we were out of the woods. That's about when I completely disappeared on you...sorry! I felt broken and sad, and I know that many people have been through similar, or worse, situations but I needed time to deal in my own way..which basically meant shutting down for a bit. :)
Our plan was to let things happen naturally but that prove to be much harder than I expected. There was no way to tell when my body would be clued in and just knowing that the baby was there but not growing was hard to deal with. After several days I decided that I wanted to go ahead and have a D&C to remove everything and drop my hormones back to normal. It was absolutely the best decision for me...Afterward I started to feel like myself again and it's letting us move forward.
Anyway, that's my story. I'm healthy and I've got Kai and the Hubs so I'm really not complaining. Like I said earlier, I know that there are many people who aren't even close to as fortunate as we are. I have a healthy 4 year old princess who I completely adore...even when she's been talking for 2 hours straight and has run out of real words to say so she just starts making up sounds. lol!